We're On Holiday

If you haven't noticed from the lack of updates, we're all currently on holiday. Luckily, we'll be bringing back a new and improved UDLR from duty-free. It's gonna kick all yo' asses.

Missing you loads. The weather is nice.
Lots of love,
da UDLR krew.
xxx

SWOS - DELAYED AGAIN

I can't believe this piss poor performance by Codemasters and Microsoft how fucking hard is it to upload this frickin' game. Looking at a January release I reckon now, what a joke. I'm so angry, Geometry Wars is infuriating and Halo 3, for me, is unsatisfying. So back to GOW where today I got chucked from a game for using the chainsaw what is this world coming to!

Free Next-Gen Console that doesn't break down :-)

"AOL Broadband now offering a free Sony PlayStation 3

The free laptop offer from AOL Broadband launched in September 2007 is continuing and has been expanded. The latest offer is a free Sony PlayStation 3, for those signing up to AOL Broadband Wireless Plus.

Of course, something like a PS3 for free does come with some conditions. The service has a 24 month contract and requires you to sign up to an AOL Talk call plan (the Pay As You Go Plan is included in the £19.99 bundle). For those not in an area that AOL has unbundled the monthly fee increases by £10.

One possible source for confusion is the wording "Yours to keep forever * Provided you are provisioned with AOL Broadband". This refers to the 24 month contract period, and means so long as you keep your broadband with AOL Broadband, you get to keep the PS3 after the 24 months."

Clicky

That's not a bad deal at all to be fair. Basically means you get the PS3 completely free for staying on AOL for 2 years, or free broadband for 2 years for buying a PS3.

In other news, Assassin's Creed is like being married to a bimbo- no discerning intelligence or mental stimulation between you for hours on end, and then just as you're having second thoughts about the arrangement, she fucks your brains out like no-one has ever done before, and all is right with the world. Repetitive gameplay? Yes. Simple narrative? Yes (barring the massive twist, but that happens right at the beginning). Do I keep coming back for more? Oh hell yes. It's not without it's (major) flaws, but it's just sooooooooo good at what it does. The visuals are the most stunning next-gen graphics I've yet seen (including CoD4), the thrill of gently pushing through a crowd to assassinate someone, then escaping over the rooftops and blending into the crowd just never dies. I give it 8 Stabbings out of 10.

Video Game Anagrams

Big LOLs to somethingawful.com, who have succesfully created the FUNNIEST anagrams of games I've ever seen. Actually, they're probably the ONLY ones I've seen, but props go to them for recreating the artwork for each one.

Look out for Rape Stress and Steve Irwin: The Camel Fucker.

Look with your eyes, here.

Hot Producer - Jade Raymond

This is THE producer of Assassin's Creed.


Here's another pic


and another


here's the Creative Director but fuck that


heres another

The Offical Plush Companion Cube

More crazy cube news, today...

Coming soon to the Valve online store is this frankly AMAZING plush Companion Cube and also, arguably better, a pair of Cubes for your car mirror. Brilliant, just brilliant. I'll be putting in an order as soon as they're for sale.

If this doesn't mean a lot to you, stop messing about on the Internet and go and play Portal.

WhatchCUBE Talkin' 'Bout, Willis?

Gary Coleman recently sold his Nintendo Gamecube via eBay. Times must be hard, because Gamecubes are worth about ten pence these days. Although he DID sign everything. For your money, you would've got Sonic Gems Collection, Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Robots, Mario Kart, and Mortal Kombat Deception. Plus the silver Gamecube. All signed! They went for $510. Bargain.

Did you hear that he hit a lady once?

Apologies For Lack Of Posts

A little explanation for the lack of posts! Sorry, we've been very slack over here at UDLR towers, recently. I don't have a 360 right now, although it HAS made it to the service centre, so thanks UPS. While waiting for it's return, so I can play The Orange Box again, I've been playing the SUBLIME Shadow Of The Colossus on the Playstation 2. If you haven't played it yet, stop reading this and go and buy it. You MUST already have a PS2. I think everyone does.

In quick, summary type news, this is what's exciting...

• Super Mario Galaxy is out in Japan, and has rave reviews from everyone.
• Gray Fox from Metal Gear Solid is to feature in Smash Bros Brawl, alongside Snake.
• From the 23rd to the 26th November, Xbox Live Gold will be FREE in Europe.
• Firmware 2.00 has been released for the Playstation 3, which enables remote Start. This means you can turn on your PS3 using your PSP, from any wifi spot, and control it, including downloading content. You can then turn it off again afterwards. Hooray!
• A sequel to Lost Planet is pretty much confirmed for the Xbox 360, titled Lost Planet Colonies. This is GOOD news.

We're updating LOTS soon, including moving to a cleaner, better webpage. ALL CHANGE. We're going Wordpress.

:-)

Wii Jacket Impressions

I got my four complimentary Wii Jackets through the post today!

If you don't know, Nintendo are sending out the Wii Jackets, free of charge, to Wii owners in order to protect themselves from the DANGERS of the Wiimote. Obviously trying to avoid legal bills and court cases, Nintendo have shit themselves at all the reports of damaged children and broken televisions and have reacted with this.

First of all, props to the big N for them being free. I wouldn't have paid foir them anyway, but it's always nice to get a freebie.

There's not THAT much to be said, really. The wiimote fits snugly inside of the jacket, and doesn't seem to be hampered by it at all. All the functions are easily accessible, apart from the input socket on the bottom, which is covered by a cheeky flap. The remote IS much softer with the jacket on. It takes on the feel of a top-end sex toy. Whether that's a good or bad thing is entirely up to you. I personally WON'T be using mine, unless a child plays with my console. Which is unlikely. Still, they're free, innit?

:-)

Smash Bros Brawl Stage Builder

Brilliant!

Nintendo have revealed the brand new Smash Bros Brawl Stage Builder, via the Smash Bros Dojo.

This will surely be fantastic. You can even upload your levels to Connect24, via Wifi. Whether you'll need bloody friend codes to get levels from friends is unsure, as of yet, but HOPEFULLY it'll be as easy as popping them in a message.

WELL DONE NINTENDO! Are they actually learning to embrace technology? I'm super glad that Smash Bros has been delayed, now. It's gonna be ace!

Katamari-san is mental

The Gamecity Festival finishes tonight in Nottingham, UK (in fact as I type this, Team UDLR should be romping home in the Official Gamecity Pub Quiz). It's been a really enjoyable experience having a video game festival on your doorstep, with some standout moments, the biggest of which was the Keynote speech by Kata Takahashi, creator of the awesome Katamari Damacy games.

After a long delay it finally started with an intro by... some... woman who liked Katamari (I didn't catch if she was part of Bandai, Namco, or just ran a fansite of some such) who showed some entertaining fan pics, including that of some mental who ran the San Francisco Marathon dressed as Prince and pushing a giant Katamari! Then Takahashi came on stage. He came over as a really nice guy, he had to speak through an interpreter which kinda slowed the flow of the talk, but he was a cool guy to listen to. He explained where a lot of his ideas came from, a lot of his pet hates about games and the world (especially the people who live in the flat underneath his who are noisy, so he's growing his plants over his balcony to cover their windows), and he finished the talk with an early-stage playable demo of his new game Nobi Nobi BOY (nobi is japanese for stretchy apparently, insert joke here---->). The game is absolutely bizarre. He gave a controller to a guy near me so I got to see the controls at work. Basically your 'BOY' is controlled with your two nipple buttons, one controls each half of his body. And you can stretch your body to round up animals and travel about, and you can eat the animals and... well that's about it really! It's not even on Namco's official launch spread yet, it's basically a premise he's created and he hasn't actually worked out what the goal of the game is, he just likes the idea of stretching a character to do stuff. Thankfully someone recorded the demo footage and put it on the web, so you can see for yourself here

Give The Gift Of Gaming On Wii, This Year

President Iwata of Nintendo has unveiled plans to offer a service on the Wii that allows gamers to send games to friends over the Wii Connect24 network. The service will automatically open up the Wii Shop, when the recipient accepts, and start downloading the game to their console.

I think this is a GREAT idea. Sure, you could buy somebody a Wii Points card, but who's to say they'll buy anything GOOD? I can now educate my family members and friends on games they might have missed without the worry that they'll spend the points on something ironic and shit, like Altered Beast.

Hooray!

If anyone feels generous, I'd like Sin and Punishment, Super Metroid and Breath of Fire 2, please.

Three Years On, Half Life 2 Impressions

This is an interesting one. Until the release of The Orange Box, I'd never played Half Life 2. I'd never even watched somebody else play it. I'd played the original Half Life (who hasn't?), along with Blue Shift and Counter Strike (I'm a bit of an addict). But, for various reasons, I missed Half Life 2. When the game was released, my home PC could barely run Quake 2, never mind this beast. And I didn't like the idea of the cut-down Xbox version. I decided to wait.

Coming up to the release of The Orange Box, I decided I'd post my impressions of the game as a new user. The game has been out since 2004 and is pretty much considered one of the best FPS games of all time. But things change fast in the world of games. I played Far Cry about a year ago for the first time, and it's showing it's age. The AI was painful, and the whole experience was ruined by the technical limitations. I kinda thought this might happen again, but vowed to try anyway.

I was wrong.

I haven't finished it yet. I haven't played Episode One or Two, but I've pretty much finished Portal. But Half Life 2 is INCREDIBLE. I imagine that I'm a rare breed of gamer and that everyone else who reads this HAS played through this game, probably years ago. But if you missed it, don't worry. It's not great because of nostalgia or because of it's place in history. It's brilliant because everything works and it feels as relevant today as it did on release. At no point have I yet remembered that I'm NOT playing a brand new game. It feels fresh and exciting and I'm hooked. I've even borrowed a 360 to play it while my bricked console gets repaired.

The atmosphere created in the game is absolutely incredible. It's so hard to describe games that really make you feel something, but this game does. I totally felt like I was in an Orwell novel right from the start, and the stifling presence of the police is something that's lodged itself in my mind already. I'll never forget playing this game. I just wish I'd played it three years ago.

Seriously, if you haven't had a taste of it yet, you need this game in your life. If you consider yourself a gamer, even slightly, you have to play this. I feel a twat for not getting it sooner. But, in fairness, The Orange Box is probably the best way you can experience it, even if you have finished it before. Get it.

The Orange Box is available on Xbox 360 and PC now. The Playstation 3 version has been, predictably, delayed until sometime next month.

Oh fuck.

My Xbox 360
02/12/05 - 24/10/07

I guess it had fairly good innings. *sniff*

Eternal Sonata Impressions

Before starting my impressions of Eternal Sonata, I'd just like to point out that I wish they'd stuck with the original Japanese title, Trusty Bell: Chopin's Dream. That's all.

ANYWAY, Eternal Sonata is OUT NOW on the Xbox 360 so maybe you've already played it but I've only just got the chance to have a go. It's out sometime in 2008 on the PS3, too, so owners of that console will get a chance too.

Ok, Eternal Sonata is a pretty conventional JRPG. If you've played Final Fantasy or the like, you know what's going on. That's a criticism I'm getting out of the way now. If you're bored of the formula or don't get along with turn-based battles, you probably better give it a miss. JRPGs aren't know for their originality and these is DEFINITELY role playing by numbers. A bit disappointing, that.

Coming from the people who made Baten Kaitos, Eternal Sonata has an AMAZING look. Seriously, it's worth tracking this game down just to look at it. If you're HD, that is. The cell-shaded look is stunning in high definition and it's won the game awards for it's artistic direction. They're well deserved.

The battles ARE turn-based, but they also allow freedom to run about to avoid enemies and hit them with a variety of attacks. The twist is, you've got just a few seconds to do what you need to do before the next character gets their turn. It actually works really well and treads a fairly nice middle ground between turn-based and real-time fights.

But yeah, it's the same old same old. I really, really want to rave about how amazing it is, but in all honesty, I can't. It's nothing new but what it does, it does really well. I could sit and watch it all day, though. I'm gonna pick it up cheap secondhand and just watch somebody else play it. Seriously.



In conclusion? Pretty.

Pictochat Stage On Smash Bros Is Better Than ACTUAL Pictochat

I remember when I first got my Nintendo DS. I asked my Mum to bring me it back from New York while she was on holiday, thus enabling me to own the sexy handheld MONTHS before most other European folks. And I DISTINCTLY remember being hella excited about Pictochat. I don't know why. Seriously, though. Maybe I though the range would be HUGE or something, and I'd be able to chat to friends in other houses and stuff. But that's what phones and MSN are for, I guess.

But anyway, Pictochat is shit. Completely useless. I've NEVER used it properly, because if someone is close enough to Pictochat, they're more than likely close enough to chat to at a reasonable volume.

BUT ANYWAY, the point of this is that Nintendo have revealed the Pictochat stage in Smash Bros Brawl. HOW COOL? Very. Although it'll probably be a bit rubbish (like the Game & Watch stage in Smash Bros Melee) it's a novel idea, and one I can't wait to try! Hooray!

Okami IS Coming To The Wii

Following on from my previous post about the RUMOURS of Okami for the Wii, it's now been pretty much confirmed by everyone.

This is FANTASTIC. Okami was criminally ignored by most, probably due to it's late release on the Playstation 2. It'll supposedly have full motion controls and the like. It better be widescreen and 480p, too, or it can fuck right off.

On the flipside, it seems like my Wii is only good for ports of old games until Mario Galaxy comes out. That's a bit depressing, no?

Brutal Legend

While still unconfirmed by himself (due to an exclusive deal with game informer magazine), Tim Schafer and double fine's new game "brutal legend" seems to be in full promo force.

A couple of weeks ago, select gaming websites and magazines received an unmarked red 7" along with a turntable for those without one. It was discovered that the song on the vinyl was a pretty cheesy metal song but if you listened carefully you'd identify the fact that it was in fact Jack Black singing (confirmed as the voice of the main character) and that there was more than meets the ears.

In true metal fashion there was a backwards message containing something along the lines of "brutal legend:coming soon", which confirmed that it was a promo device for the new double fine game. If anyone wants to listen to the song, it can be found here via kotaku.

A week or so the above trailer leaked onto the net coupled with these scans from the issue of game informer which details the game quite thoroughly.

To be honest just the teaser stuff has me wetting my pants whilst waiting for the game.
If it's anything like Schafer's past line up (day of the tentacle, grim fandango, psychonauts et al) then it will be nothing short of genius.

*Edit* It's all confirmed now official sites here and here.

Gamecity In Nottingham!

At the end of October, Gamecity will be coming to Nottingham. It's basically a load of game related demos, talks, films, etc going on all over the city, and if you've got ANY interest in the medium of THE GAME, you should try and make it down for some of it.

Hop over to the official site to check out the programme! Here's some which look particularly ace...

• LEGO STARWARS : THE COMPLETE SAGA, 26th Oct. 12pm

A talk about the upcoming game with Jonathan Smith, who worked on the game. Maybe some Wiimote lightsabre action, too? I'LL BE THERE.

• FREEPLAY LOUNGE, 25th Oct. 7pm

"Merging the classic draw of free beer and pizza with state-of-the-art Xbox 360 gaming on HD projection screens, contests for prizes including Halo 3, appearances by girl gamers the Frag Dolls and face-offs against top Rare developers, it's set to be a memorable social gaming experience for all present."

Ace.

• EUPHORIA : PHYSICS OF THE FORCE, 26th Oct. 2pm

A talk about the groundbreaking new Euphoria engine, that's powering the physics in upcoming games Star Wars The Force Unleashed and the latest Indiana Jones title.

• TAKAHASHI NEXT, 27th Oct. 1pm

A chat with the BRILLIANT creator of Katamari Damacy. NOT TO BE MISSED.

There's loads more, including THE MAN WHO CREATED TETRIS, but you can see them all on the official site. GO.

Assassins Creed Vid

Some of you may have seen this elsewhere but if not then here's a massive 8 minute video of gameplay footage from Assassins Creed. I have to say, this has excited me. I remember how much I loved Prince Of Persia: Sands Of Time, and now I am really looking forward to that kind of gameplay in a much more open environment. The movements look fluid and it seems like it offers lots of possibilities for really cinematic kills and the ensuing chases and escapes.

I feel a pre-order coming on.