Sunday, 30 September 2007

Halo 3 NOT Natively HD

Oh dear, we thought we'd left this behind with Project Gotham 3...

Bungie have confirmed that, as some bloggers have pointed out, Halo 3 does NOT run natively at 720p. If we consider HD to be anything 720p and above, then it IS true that Halo 3, the most important Xbox 360 game so far, is not HD. Bugger.

Here's the quote, direct from Bungie's sexy mouth...

"Halo 3 uses not one, but two frame buffers - both of which render at 1152x640 pixels. The reason we chose this slightly unorthodox resolution and this very complex use of two buffers is simple enough to see - lighting. We wanted to preserve as much dynamic range as possible - so we use one for the high dynamic range and one for the low dynamic range values. Both are combined to create the finished on screen image."

So there you have it. Can't say I've noticed any loss of detail on my HD screen, but it's rubbish to think that the Xbox's flagship game isn't actually high-definition, despite Microsoft promising EVERY 360 game to be at least 720p. As I mentioned above, we've seen this before with Project Gotham 3, that also upscaled to preserve frame-rate. The difference is, PGR3 is jaggy hell, whereas Halo 3 is liquid sex.

Naughty Bungie.

Friday, 28 September 2007

Sin and Punishment FINALLY Gets UK Release But Can Fuck Off

Legendary N64 on-rails shooter, Sin and Punishment is FINALLY making it's way to PAL territories with it's release on the Virtual Console this week. Made by Treasure in 2000, the game was originally only made available in Japan. This is good news for Wii fans!

What ISN'T good news, is that Nintendo have bumped up the price to 1200 Wii points (between £8.50 and £12.00 depending on how much you pay for your Wii Points card) thus raping my wallet. This price is unheard of so far on the Virtual Console and is, to be fair, shit.


Oh yeah, a reminder, too. Mario Bros. The Lost Levels is still available on the PAL Virtual Console until October 1st, when it'll be gone forever! This also never had a PAL release, so is pretty special. Again, it's over-priced, coming in at 100 points more than every other NES release, though, so I probably wouldn't bother.

YES Masterchief LOLcats

In response to my previous post about the Halo Legendary Edition helmets NOT fitting children/cats/me, I found this picture.

I think he's just holding it in front of the cat, merely creating the ILLUSION of a Catchief, but it's still hella great.

Go forth and LOLcat, minions.

Thursday, 27 September 2007

Sega Rally Demo Now On PSN

I know it's kinda old news and the game's actually in the shops to buy now, but the demo for Sega Rally went up on PSN today for your PS3 rally needs.

It's fucking awesome. Get.

Clive Barker's Jericho Demo Impressions

Clive Barker's Jericho is a FPS. There's another FPS that's just been released on the Xbox 360 and it's the best game of the year, probably the best game on the Xbox 360 and possibly the best FPS ever made. So games like this are a bit unnecessary now. HOWEVER, if you're still looking for a new shooter to play, particularly a scary one, then Jericho MIGHT be what you're looking for.

If you haven't got The Darkness, stop reading this and go and buy it. If you've finished The Darkness and want more gruesome, horror shooting, you should know that Jericho plays very similarly to that game. It has a really similar feel and the title screen is exactly the same.

Apart from 'the feel', Jericho isn't as good as The Darkness. To be fair, not a lot is, but Jericho is so similar yet falls so far behind in a lot of ways.

But first, the positives, of course. It has a really cool QTE bit that requires you to hit buttons that flash up on screen to trigger certain events. If you miss them, you die. It's been done so many times before (see Dragon's Lair, Shen Mue, Resident Evil 4, etc...) but it's still refreshing when done properly. Jericho sees a BRILLIANT example of QTE at the end of the demo and it got my heart racing a little bit.

The game also looks really nice and creepy. There's a lot of detail in the environments and the lighting is gorgeous.

HOWEVER. The enemies are all the same, and boring. The level is really linear, with no option for exploration off the beaten track. And it's yet another FPS in the year of shooters. Give me a fucking PLATFORM game or something, please.

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

I'm Off To Buy Halo 3

See you in about four years when the next one comes out. Until then, I'll be on Xbox Live.

Sunday, 23 September 2007

An Open Letter To Girls

Men will definitely be made 'very excitable' if you wear these!

Avid readers may notice I have made use of bloggers 'Large Image Upload' feature for the first time on this post.

I don't give a shit if it makes the sidebar go far away either!

I might get a pair of boxers made with a 'red ring of death' version, for when I wish to pretend I am null.

You can all go and buy them HERE and automatically become a 'definitely would'

PES2008 - First Demo Impressions

Ok, I've now spent a bit of time on the new Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 demo on XBLA and I've drawn my initial conclusions.

Fixes of things that were shit in PES6:
  • Lobbing the goalie has now been demoted from it's previous position of 'Most Difficult Thing'
  • Taking a 'quick free kick' isn't completely pointless as in PES6 the screen would still fade down and everyone would have recovered their woeful positions and be ready to immediately steal the ball off you. Play doesn't actually stop now and you can still catch your opponent unaware and lay your GOAL POWER upon them
  • More kit options to avoid the PES6 effect where your best option would sometimes be both teams playing in exactly the same kit. Except one of you would have a stripe or different coloured socks
  • Nicer graphics and menus and eye candy that isn't very important. Although I should point out that I can't see a huge difference between PES6 and PES2008. Maybe it's because I have only got a standard def telly, what with me not being a tsar or being able to print money
  • At least my telly is massive though
  • Goalies don't seem to be butter fingered twats quite so often

Things that worry/annoy me so far:
  • Players still look 'a bit burns victim'
  • The frame rate on the demo is AWFUL and there is quite a bit of glitching here and there. I can only assume this won't be the case in the final release but seriously, there was loading time aplenty when I was playing
  • Wayne Rooney doesn't have any new weapons and has not been given 'plasmids'
  • It doesn't seem to be very different from PES6, most of the character animations and celebration routines seem to be the same. The gameplay is slightly more fluid and fast paced but it's nowhere near the difference between PES6 and PES5
  • There's no commentary on the demo which is really annoying because if there's one thing I need it's new phrases to get used to such as "He must be wondering what he has to do to beat this goalkeeper today" (The answer in PES6 was usually 'just wait' as he'll probably trip over his own defender soon)

Now it may seem like I'm a little underwhelmed. That's because I am. But that is also because the way I've played this demo is not how I play and love PES.
The thing that makes me love PES is getting all (both) of your mates over and playing for 5 hours solid because neither of you can let the game you just lost be the last. It's needing one last match. It's saving replays of goals scored from the halfway line after rebounding in off the keepers arse.
It's one of the most social games ever, and I know I'll be buying it. I know it probably isn't going to be a huge revelation or even a massive leap from the last version but I'll be happy just getting a slightly new twist on an old favourite. New players, new teams (Derby?) and a facelift is pretty much all I needed from PES2008, as long as they don't mess with the formula then I'll be happy.

I may not bang on about it the way I did over PES6, but I'll almost certainly play it as much.

Which is all that matters right?

IN OTHER NEWS: Matt has put up all our gamer cards on the right there. My gamerscore is pitiful and I feel the need to point out that I've only just renewed my Xbox Gold Membership and that I've only just bought a 360. I also need to change that stupid pirate twat for my picture.

No Masterchief LOLcats

When the Halo 3 Legendary Edition was announced, with the Masterchief helmet included, I dreamt of wearing it. How cool would that be? But we then heard that it was too small for that, but perhaps child-sized. I then imagined a future where LOLcats would be Halo-themed. Where YouTube would be filled with videos of freaky Halo children and Masterchief cats.

But it's not to be.

IGN has reported that, although the helmet is a PERFECT size for felines, it's not hollow, rendering it's clothing possibilities impossible.

Bugger. Still, I guess the game will be alright.

Rainy Woods

Now this is a game I am excited about!
I've always been a single player gamer, mainly because I like to get involved heavily with the story based element of the game. I think the last time a game got me so involved was Psychonauts or Bioshock.
There's nothing I enjoy more than getting to the point where you don't want to go to bed for fear that you may be missing out on what happens next, even if you know nothing will have changed between going bed and next picking up the game.

It's being heralded as a mix of Twin Peaks and Silent Hill which to me is a dream come true as the first two silent hill games are two of my favourite games ever, possibly due to the fact that adventure games are my favourite genre and survival horror games seem to borrow elements from these quite heavily.

The main thing that attracts me to this game is that it appears to be such an original story (you watch, I'll be eating my hat when it transpires that it's based on a guy passing through a town on his way somewhere else and he gets mystically trapped there). What more could you want? It has midgets, religious sacrifice and a guy in a wheel chair wearing a gas mask!
If you cast your minds back to the aborted genius that was Fahrenheit you'd understand, it showed not only a very original story but also an original way of playing the game (whatever choice you made during the game would affect how the next part played out, a bit like a more glamorous dragon's lair). The only thing that let it down was the disaster that was the last quarter of the game where it became more like the 4th part in the Matrix trilogy.

Anyway as far as I know, no release date has been set yet but I'm a patient person (I'm still waiting for Monkey Island 5!) and I'm sure Assassins Creed will tide me over until then.

*EDIT* I've changed my mind. This actually is Twin peaks!

Saturday, 22 September 2007

Is This The Top10 2D Shooters Of All Time?


I ask because I STRONGLY DISAGREE. 2D shoot-em-ups are my all-time favourite type of game. I have spent far too much money and far too much time playing them. Screwattack's top10s are always great to watch online. They're fun, nostalgic, and just damn good entertainment. But this one is SO wrong that I just had to pick up on it and see if I'm the only one that feels this way! This is their's:

*****SPOILERS***** Watch the link if you want them slowly revealed to you.

01- UN Squadron
02- Ikaruga
03- Gradius
04- Super R-Type
05- Galaga
06- Axelay
07- Asteroids
08- 1943
09- Raptor
10- Xevious

Now THIS is mine:

01- R-Type Final
02- Axelay
03- Xenon II- Megablast
04- Parodius
05- Space Invaders
06- Pop N'Twinbee
07- Defender
08- Zero Wing
09- Raptor
10- Ikaruga

C'mon, they didn't even have Space Invaders in there, the daddy! OR Xenon II! But R-Type is clearly the best shooter of all time. It's just absolutely perfect in every way. I had UN Squadron, and it was damn good, but the best ever? Nah. Thoughts?

(by the way, I left out 2D platform shooters as they appeared to as well, otherwise Zombies Ate My Neighbours would be No.1)

Wii Woes

I sometimes feel like I write too many negative things about Nintendo these days... Since I got my first NES console I've LOVED Nintendo and their games. Duck Hunt, Mario Bros, Zelda, Punch Out, Mega Man and loads of other much-loved NES games introduced me to console gaming at a time when I was getting sick of waiting a half hour for my Commodore VIC-20 to load my tapes. The Super Nintendo is my favourite ever games console. I bought the N64 and Gamecube within a week of their release. I fucking IMPORTED a DS from America because I couldn't wait for the PAL release. I queued for THIRTEEN hours to get a Wii at midnight on release. See? I like Nintendo!

Certainly, the Wii has a fantastic line-up of releases before the end of the year. Metroid Prime 3, Super Mario Galaxy, Guitar Hero 3, LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga (with fucking lightsabre action), NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Manhunt 2 and a few more all look great. Not to mention the new Zelda release on the DS. Nintendo seem to have all their important IPs covered for the holiday season.

But what about after that? Nobody seems to be questioning what happens when we've all got Mario Galaxy and finished Metroid Prime 3. What should we be looking forward to then? There's Mario Kart Wii, I suppose. And Super Smash Bros. But neither of these games grab me like they should. Neither of them support the innovative Wii remote in a way that will re-invent them and revolutionise the series. In fact, it seems to me that these games will do the opposite and just make people wish they had a normal controller and had more than four buttons to use on them. That's certainly the way I felt while playing Twilight Princess... From all the hype and pre-release images and videos, I only see Mario Kart Wii and Super Smash Bros Brawl as souped-up Gamecube games. They may have online-play, but Nintendo's online service is famously flaky.

Of course, the Xbox will have a similar problem after the launch of Halo 3. It's all people have wanted since launch and I do worry what will happen when there's not that on the horizon. But Microsoft have such strong third party support, as do Sony, and seem to have a never-ending supply of new releases. Something that the Wii certainly misses out on.

But until then, it's going to be a fucking good end to the year. :-D

What's With All The Quiz Shit?


Who the fuck is buying all the quiz games? Not content with raping the DVD market with awful DVD Quizzes, developers are now setting their evil eyes on the videogames market and it's fucking embarrassing.

We've already had Buzz! and it's EIGHT sequels. EIGHT. Now we've got Scene-It and, worst of all, Cheggers Party Quiz for the Playstation 2, PC and Nintendo Wii (pictured). Here's the press release...

"Guaranteed to have something for everyone - much like its devilishly dishy host - Cheggers’ Party Quiz is jam-packed with thousands of entertainment questions, all brought into your front room by the eternally ebullient host, Keith Chegwin.

Challenging quiz and party game fans to Party with Cheggers this Christmas, Cheggers’ Party Quiz is the most wonderfully wacky party quiz to hit consoles yet."

Oh, fuck off.

Dog Eats Wii Remote

From, comes this amazing story of a hungry dog and a broken Wii remote...

A family took their Dog to the vet worried after finding it coughing up blood. After X-Rays, a rectangular-shaped mass was discovered inside the dog. It was a remote, but not just any remote! I wonder if the dog kept turning on the console by mistake?

"The Vet started massaging the dogs belly and it just came flying out of the dog," said owner Marie Becknell. "I knew what it was right away by the color and shape of it -- it was my son's video game remote. The dog had swallowed the boy's Nintendo Wii controller."

So, a happy ending. Bizarre, but happy.

Unreal Tournament 3 / 2007 Whatever You Want To Call It

I've always loved Unreal, it's released on PC and PS3 in November and THANKFULLY it's not out on the XBOX 360 until sometime in 2008. What other console would you be glad of a delayed release date of one of your favourite games?

Here's my reasoning...

1. Halo 3 (see you in town Tuesday night)
2. Bioshock (waiting for a secondhand one on the cheap)
3. Gears of War (yep, still playing alongside a bunch of pricks over Live)
4. skate. (one of the best demos on Marketplace will not be a let down)
5. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (I'm too scared to even begin this monster)

plus Guitar Hero II, SWOS (whenever the shitty thing gets released), Sonic 2, currently finishing off Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter, still dicking about on Rainbow Six Vegas and never finished off Lost Planet.

so...I'm glad it's delayed I've got a few more months to really get into these games without dropping them all for Unreal.

I haven't mentioned GTA4 because i don't like GTA. Yep, that's right. I fucking hate it.

Friday, 21 September 2007

Sony Make (Dual) Shock Announcement! *Updated*

Or not of course as we all (well, UKR mainly) predicted it. Sony have finally given what many current PS3 owners may see as a big 'F**K YOU!' to the early adopters and informed everyone that they were very wrong when they said that 'rumble is a last-generation feature'.

"No, I can't see any room to stick a Rampant Rabbit in it either"

In fact, Me and Matt were playing the new and entirely excellent Sega Rally demo the other day on xbox and were talking about the track deformation and the feedback as you tear up the track on the third lap, bumping all over the shop. How could you play this game without that? Likewise, any FPS where you get enemies creeping up behind you and shooting you would be confusing/frustrating as hell.

Now, an open letter, Steve Jobs style...

Mainly of course directed at our very own Bronson, but please feel free to join in the comments section and let us know what you think.

Q: How do you feel about the recent PS3 Dual Shock 3 being announced? Are you glad they finally realised it was shit without rumble? Angry cos you'll have to buy a new controller? Do you find you've not needed rumble whilst playing your PS3?

And in the 'other 'last generation' features I miss - Those memory cards on the Dreamcast that had the little screen on them! How cool were they?


Interestingly, it seems that many current release will have rumble support added through downloadable patches. The full list can be seen over at IGN and it's good to see titles like Motorstorm and Resistance: Fall of Man featured on the list. This is a GOOD move from Sony. Expecting your customers to buy a new controller so soon into your consoles life is a still a BAD move, however. Tut tut...

And where's Sega Rally? :-p

Gran Turismo 5 Prologue Pricing Favours PSN

A pricing guide for Polyphony's forthcoming Gran Turismo 5 Prologue was shown in the press pack at this years Tokyo Games Show. Interestingly, fans can download the title from the PS3's PSN service at a reduced rate, compared to the Blu-Ray version. GT5 Prologue is a taster of the much anticipated Gran Turismo 5, and should have racing fans trembling with excitement.

It's certainly positive that companies like Polyphony Digital are supporting Digital Downloads by offering reduced pricing structures. Hopefully, more publishers will follow this example as game downloads become more and more common. With Tomb Raider Anniversary coming exclusively via the Xbox Live Marketplace later in the year, in episodes, the future DOES look bright for online game services. Good work, Polyphony!

Greatest Game Franchise Ever™: Latest Trailer


This just gets better. Not only have they got a cyborg ninja, not only have they got gratuitous next-gen cleavage shots, not only has it got hot mech on mech action, and not only has it got fart gags.... IT'S GOT A HAIRLESS MONKEY!!!!!!!!

If you're new to Metal Gear or didn't play MGS2 then a lot of the dialogue won't make sense, just sit back and enjoy the pretty pictures and silly action, but if you did... HOLY SHIT!!!! IT's ____'S BABY!

White Hair, Trenchcoats, And Techno-Metal Are Cool- Fact


Devil May Cry 4 on the PS3 and Xbox 360 looks absolutely amazing, I mean god-damn awesome. If this game was a woman, I would gut-punch a hole in the middle of the woman and then fuck the hole. A new hole just for me. What's that red stuff coming out of her?....

I'm a Soulll Maaaaaaaan.....

The first proper trailer (ie, you actually SEE something) for Soul Calibur IV is up on gametrailers and it's a doozy. I don't know if these in-game graphics are running on a PS3, 360, PC, or Atari Lynx, but by crimminy they're mighty sexy!

The only worrying thing for me is that there's no sign of little Talin, and I like playing with her! well, not 'playing' with her, your honour, I swear she said she was 16, I swear!!!!!

PES 2008 Demo On European Marketplace Now!

The Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 demo has just hit the Xbox Live Maketplace, weighing in at a GARGANTUAN 1.18gb. That's a lot of football. Interestingly, it's only available on the European Marketplace, currently.

I don't know what's in the demo, as I'm still downloading it and it's (unsurprisingly) taking forever. There must be LOADS of people trying to get it. I don't even like football and even I'm a bit excited...

Thursday, 20 September 2007

Xbox Live Arcade Wednesday, 20-09-07

Only one new title up on the Xbox Live Marketplace this week, but it's certainly nice to see some original content, rather than more re-releases. Geon: Emotions is available to download now, priced 800 Microsoft points.

At first glance, Geon looks like a puzzler, but it's really not. I suppose it's hard to pigeon-hole, but it's an arcade game that's almost a sports game, almost a puzzle game and ALMOST good. The basic idea is to roll your little cube thing around the board, collecting orbs (like Pacman) until you have enough to fill your power meter. When it's full, you can roll over to your opponents goal and score a point. Meanwhile, the other player (AI or human) is trying exactly the same thing, but on the flip-side of the board. It's an interesting idea and certainly works to a degree. It'll sometimes raise the heartbeat seeing as you're playing directly against an opponent, not a time limit as such, but for the most part, it's fairly boring. You have a range of powers to unleash at certain points in the match, but they kind of add confusion to a seemingly simple game.

It looks pretty, and it's refreshing to see new content on the marketplace, but there's other arcade games that are far more worthy of your money. The trial is worth a blast but, for me, it didn't get the emotions going.


And Since It Is The "Roblab Star Wars Week" 2007...

Since the news of Star Wars on Wii allowing people in a galaxy not so far away to wave their remote in the face of the darkside, I feel I must explain my excitement at seeing Star Wars Battlefront : Renegade Squadron is due to be PSP exclusive!

If it is anything near as good as the last one, its gonna be amazing!

However, my Jedi based excitement has been quashed slightly by the posting of the Darth Vader that looks like a penis.

Thanks Rob.

Before My Family Alert The Authorities...

I suppose I should explain my lack of posts on this blog, but as Matt has pointed out, occasionally you will get hold of a game that will make you want to play it, rather than write about it.

This has indeed been the case recently, as my recent purchases have included delights such as Medal of Honour Heroes on PSP (32 player online death matches while in bed!!!), and also Guitar Hero II.

Now, as a real life guitarist, i was VERY skeptical about whether a plastic guitar game would grasp my interest or; anger me immensely. A bit like the way you feel when your favorite band turn shit, release a poor album that goes top 10, and feel the bile in the back of our throat when everyone claims they have loved them all of their life.

Elitism aside, I figured using my left over Virgin Megastores vouchers on a bit of experimentation couldn't hurt that much...

So returning home with my plastic guitar in hand, much to the mockery of my other half, i popped it in the PS2 and waited to be upset...


...its fucking brilliant.

After literally 10 minutes, its easy to get to grips with, but at the same time, there are always chances to mess up. This, I believe, is what makes a game addictive. Knowing you are fully capable of doing something, yet not quite getting it spot on is pure anal retentive brilliance!

Added bonus's include being able to play Lamb Of God and Every time I Die tracks, and also real franchises such as Ernie Ball Strings, Gibson guitars and Line 6 amps!

Its almost like they made a Singstar/Dancemat game just for meat heads like myself.

Scared, Cold and Alone - More Star Wars Tat

Whilst googling for an image of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed for my previous post, I found this amazing site! It's not particularly games related but I have made this 'Star Wars Week' in honour of Lucasarts bringing a Star Wars game out that might not be utter shit and therefore I'm letting myself away with it.

Highlights include:

There is loads more, most of it quite frightening but some of it is just amazing on many levels.

Some of it however is just plain creepy...

News That Made Me Unleash My Force All Over The Place!

And I'm not the only one!

Lucasarts are also throwing off huge, sticky wristfulls of force in all directions, including to Wii owners.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, all I really want to do with my wii-mote is be a kid with a lightsabre again. So the great god of gaming has smiled upon us and declared that Star Wars: The Force Unleashed will be making it to the Wii and will have an exclusive 'Duel Mode' to satisfy our collective craving.

My only concern (why is it I always find myself becoming suspicious of Wii games? Have I been burnt that many times already?) is that without the physics stuff that the 360 and PS3 can handle, will this game be any good? I expect there will be 'some' of the physics that the Wii can manage (see Eledees) but they'll have to change the game a great deal.
That could be a good thing however, as the last thing we need is another Wii game ported over from a more powerful system with hilarious results.

I think this will make a lot of people that own a Wii and a 360/PS3 buy both copies of the game if it truly is quite different to play. Which I'm sure Lucasarts will be fairly pleased with.

It's all Jedi mind tricks if you ask me...

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

The Real Warthog Video

Next Tuesday at midnight, I, like many others, will be buying Halo 3. If you haven't heard of it, it's the third part in one of the best videogame series ever. But, I digress.

The following video is the best thing ever if you're a Halo fan. Please stand, for the REAL Warthog.

Why are these not for sale?

Monday, 17 September 2007

Why I Love Public Beta Tests

For the last five days, I've been playing the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare multiplayer beta on my Xbox 360. The day it was released, I said that I'd write some impressions up at some point. And I have been meaning to do that ever since I first played it, but, to be honest, I'd rather be playing it than writing about it. Whenever I want to write something about it, I just find some time to squeeze in one more game...

The beta for COD4 has been out in America for some time now. It's been here in the UK for almost a week, too, and I feel like there's not much else to write about. Yes, it's the best multiplayer FPS I've ever played. It truly feels like a new Counterstrike game and not just a cheap sequel. The best thing about it, for me, is that it hasn't made Call of Duty 3 obsolete. They're two very different games and I guess it just reinforces what a fantastic multiplayer experience COD3 was, and still is. I can't wait for the full release in November. I'll definitely be picking it up at midnight on release day, even though I'll have the the THAT other FPS by then.

Which brings me to the point of this post. Public Beta tests. They're great! I've been involved in three on my 360 and they're, without a doubt, the best downloads I've had from the Xbox Live marketplace. You see, they're more than demos. You actually feel like you're helping and achieving something by playing them. You only have to look at the changes made to Lost Planet, after the public beta became the most downloading thing on the marketplace, at that time. Using feedback from the public domain, Capcom made some very important changes to the multiplayer portion of the game before release, helping it become a better experience for everyone.

And I surely don't need to mention the Halo 3 Beta. You even got a free copy of Crackdown with it. :-p

And the Call of Duty 4 Beta. I was pretty sure that I was going to buy it before. As I've said LOADS of times, I loved Call of Duty 3 multiplayer. And Call of Duty 2 had a fantastic single player. But I was also 100% buying Halo 3 on release. Call of Duty 4 could have waited seeing as I would be playing the most anticipated FPS of the year. But, seriously, I'm just as excited about COD4, now. The multiplayer is IMMENSE. Sure, there are a few hiccups, but that's the point of a beta. The stages are genius, the leveling up system is the best thing since Halo 2's matchmaking, it has party systems in place, the weapons are BRUTAL and there's a million more things I could say.

But instead, I'm gonna go and play it.

Sega Rally Demo Impressions

Now THIS is exciting. Sega Rally Championship is one of the all-time greatest racing games. The arcade version is one of the last games that I can remember truly making a stir in British arcades. And the Sega Saturn version was a brilliant conversion. I couldn't tell you how much of my life was spent perfecting every little movement on the Desert track at home. Sega Rally 2 kinda came and went for me. I played it a little on my Dreamcast, but it didn't hit me like the original did. And it had HORRIFIC frame-rates.

And now, Sega Rally. Coming to the Playstation 3, Xbox 360, PSP and PC from the 28th September. By my calender, that's two days after Halo 3, which means I won't be able to afford it. But if you opted for a Playstation 3, you'll be ok.

It's fucking awesome. Absolutely everything I wanted it to be. And I can't go any further without mentioning the skies. They're so blue! Only Sega do skies like that. When I play this demo, I feel like I'm on holiday. In fact, everything looks great. The environments are detailed and lush and the cars are... well, cars. There's no damage to the vehicles, unfortunately. To be fair, that's a big loss to me. But it IS an arcade racing game, I suppose. And that's the point.

By all accounts, the full game features just five tracks. That doesn't sound like many, but if the three that aren't featured in the demo are as well designed as the two that are, I'll be SO happy. Typical Sega, every little detail on the tracks is there for a reason, and within a few days of playing, you'll be memorising those details in order to thrash your way to victory and shaving milliseconds of your times as you do it.

One of the big things about Sega Rally is the track deformations. As you bomb it around the courses, your tyres leave tracks in the mud/sand/whatever. As the race goes on, the tracks start to look more and more knackered due to all the vehicles power-sliding around every corner. But these deformations aren't just aesthetic. They actually affect how your car handles on the track. You can feel each little bump through the vibration of your pad (which leaves me wondering about the Playstation 3 version which, famously, doesn't support vibration in it's SIXAXIS) and you have to learn to react to this changes in surface to aid you in winning the race. It's PERFECT.

And the music! It's like a Megadrive gone mad. Brilliant!

One thing, though. The demo features two tracks, and two cars. The original Sega Rally Championship (the best one, obviously) featured only THREE tracks and two cars. So, by just playing the demo, you've kinda got a bit portion of the game. Obviously with the full version you'll have a championship mode, online play, the other three tracks and more vehicles, but, until I can actually afford it, I'll be more than happy playing this demo every day. :-)

The demo is available now on the Xbox Live Marketplace.

"Game Over yeeeeeaaaahhh....."

Yoshi's Story On Virtual Console

This CERTAINLY warrants it's own post, as I've been praying for this game to appear on my Wii since launch. It's one of my absolute favourite platform games ever and all the critics can fuck off. It's beautiful, has the best music ever, and is rock hard to finish 'properly'. Amazing replay value and none of the emulated versions I've ever tried have worked properly. I now don't have to plug my N64 in ever again! Hooray! It's 1000 Wii points, like all other N64 games and it's worth ever single one.

There's some other games out today, too, but that doesn't really matter.

Thursday, 13 September 2007

Goal Scoring Superstar Hero - On the rag

Sensible World of Soccer Trailer

Codemasters have announced that SWOS on XBLA will be here by the end of the year... It's all gone very quiet on a confirmed release date considering it was originally planned for August. Here's a trailer for now, looks like fun right? Oh yeah Skate has now been delayed by a month as well.

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Greatest Game Franchise Ever™: New Bosses Unveiled

Many people love the Final Fantasy games with a passion.

Others religiously buy each and every version of Pro-Evo.

Some can guide you through start to finish of every Resident Evil game in turn.

I worship at the altar of Solid Snake. I heart Metal Gear.

So therefore I'm going to be posting regular updates on the Greatest Game Franchise Ever™. Hell, it's pretty much the sole reason I bought a PS3. That and I can't bear to give Bill Gates my money. And here's one that's actually a week or so old, but was chronically unreported on this blog (Matt, go sit in the corner and think about what you've done...).

So Hideo Kojima has been keeping the traditionally, er, 'eccentric' bosses secret up until now for MGS4, with only Liquid Ocelot confirmed to be a) in it, and b) definitely a baddie. There's loads of rumours doing the rounds at the moment that Raiden may actually be carrying on the work of the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo as well as obviously taking on the mantle of the Cyborg Ninja and looking generally badass. This means that due to his fight with Vamp in the trailers that Vamp could be a good guy in this one or at least acting under his own rules, and then Eva's back but 70 years old, and... oh, you all seem to have scrolled down past this bit. I'll shut up now.

But ANYWAY, Kojima recently revealed the all-new bad guys for MGS4. Or should I say bad girls? No, that makes me think of a sub-par Drew Barrymore film. So the world has said Konichi-wa to the Beauty and the Beast unit, 4 supermodels who have been scarred by the horrors of war and now go around in cybernetic BDSM costumes killing helpless minority groups. There names are all linked to some of their FOXHOUND forebears from MGS1. There's Raging Raven (instead of Vulcan Raven), Screaming Mantis (Psycho Mantis), Crying Wolf (Sniper Wolf), as well as Laughing Octopus (Decoy Octopus). Mantis and Octopus are jointly my favourites already, just for looking the weirdest. But I like how they tie into the first MGS game, with the codename mantels being passed down.

You can see images of the entire unit over at IGN (like the one above) or in the HD trailer.

"Why you try to get crazy with me essee? Don't you know I'm Loco (Roco, out on Playstation Network next Thursday for £2)?"

You heard the man, LocoRoco Cocoreccho will arrive as part of Sony's PSN update next Thursday (Sept 20) for the bargain price of £1.99. As an added little sense of 'gee-golly!' for UK gamers, the UK release is on the same day as the Japanese version, is half the price, and is actually released before the Yankke Blue-Jeans get theirs! European gamers in appreciation shocker!

It's not a fully fledged LocoRoco game, it's actually a screengamething to have running in the background of your PS3 as kinda like an interactive screensaver, but it's essentially got the same goal as the classic PSP game- Eat flowers, grow fat, gather your blobs, squeeze through some damn fun and fine puzzle lands, and headbutt the flying octopusses (octopi? not sure). An interesting difference is that instead of using the L and R buttons, you'll use the sixAxis function of the controller to tilt the world about.

The PS3's sixAxis function has worked best when used simply I've found so far. It's great in Super Rub-A-Dub and Warhawk (quite possibly the best online multiplayer game right now, so much fun), but tragically horrible in games like Marvel: Ultimate Alliance and GRAW2 (though to be fair both games stand-up really well despite this). But the sixAxis should work great for this, and pleasantly brighten up my PS3, though I'll be love to drop Keeley Hazzel's breasts for it. Maybe they could combine the two to form a game where you use the sixAxis to jiggle her breasts around? Maybe I've gone too far....

Call Of Duty 4 Beta Available Now!

If you were lucky enough to get a Beta code from Activision, then your Call of Duty 4 beta will be waiting at the Xbox 360 Marketplace now!

I'm downloading it now. Impressions soon! If I can tear myself away from it...

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Beautiful Katamari Playstation 3 Rumours, False

A few websites have been posting screen grabs of the Bandai Namco website, apparently showing that their forthcoming game, Beautiful Katamari, will see a release on the Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii AND the Xbox 360.

Bandai Namco famously dropped the Playstation 3 and jumped ship to the Xbox 360 due to problems with developing for the console and poor hardware sales. The box-art even features the little 'Only On Xbox 360' logo.

However, within a few hours of the stories hitting the web, it seems that the boys and girls at Bandai Namco have noticed the mistake (or slip?) and changed it to Xbox 360 only. It remains to be seen if this was a genuine mistake or if it wasn't supposed to be seen by our eyes just yet.


Ninja Gaiden 2 Images

Not to be confused with Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos for the NES, images of Tecmo's Ninja Gaiden 2 have been leaked to the web. While the shots at IGN have been labeled as Xbox 360 shots, it's somewhat important to note that a platform has not been announced for the game as of yet. While Ninja Gaiden Sigma has received praise on the Playstation 3, a multi-format release of Ninja Gaiden 2 would not be surprising.

UPATE: Ninja Gaiden 2 has just been confirmed to be an Xbox 360 release.

PSP Slim Hacked Already!

Brilliant news! Coming via, news that the PSP Slim firmware has been hacked after THREE DAYS of it's release is to be very well received. :-)

As they know more than I do about hacking, homebrews and the like, I'll just copy and paste what THEY say about it...

"Team M33 have just released their do-it-all custom firmware (version 3.6, for those keeping score at home), thus confirming Pandora's Battery as a "go" (amongst other things) on the new systems. If you understand what we're talking about, you'll be pleased to know that homebrews from the GAME, GAME150 and GAME360 directories load fine, though some homebrews written specifically for the 1.50 kernel won't run properly (due to some hardware and screen problems on the Slim)."

Aceness! :-D

No Castlevania For The Playstation 3?

In a somewhat surprising move, Castlevania creator Koji Igarashi has revealed that he's favouring the Xbox 360 for the next installment in the series.

Apparently, the US market is still the strongest for the Castlevania games, and the Xbox 360 is, of course WHIPPING (see what I did there?) the Playstation 3 in the States. The Wii is not to be completely disregarded, but Igarashi comments that he feels third party games don't fare too well on the console, compared to Nintendo's offerings. While he has a point, maybe a good third-party game WOULD actually sell, rather than the half-arsed ports that most developers are currently churning out for Nintendo's system.

Igarashi also commented on the new DS offering for the Castlevania series. It will not be a port of Dracula X, like the PSP is receiving, but hopefully a new adventure. While I'm happy about this, I also REALLY want to play Dracula X. Looks like I'll be buying that PSP Slim...

And Now Some (possibly) Good Wii News

Matt is right, we've all become a little disillusioned with the Wii and it's recent lack of good games. I like mini games for about 20 mins, and I'm sick of waving a stick as a replacement for pressing a button.

However, I will gladly take back my frustration and welcome the little whore back into my life when I can finally do the one thing that first made me realise the potential of the Wii.

I want to swing about a god damn light sabre!

And now the ace Lego Star Wars is coming out on the Wii in November with Lucasarts hinting that they are developing other Star Wiirs titles (see what I did there? I'm going to copyright that before everyone starts using it).

Deep Joy!

Still, I hope they come out with another shit bit of plastic to clip onto the end of the Wiimote to make it look like a sabre! They could bundle in some piece of shit minigame series where you go stabbing up Banthas too.

Monday, 10 September 2007

Link's Crossbow Training Sounds Shit

I HATE to write more negative stuff about Nintendo and the Wii in particular. But I just can't remain silent any longer... It's getting painful. Painfully embarrassing.

Nintendo are set to unload another double-barrelled shell of shitness on November 19th.

The new Wii Zapper, pictured, is basically a piece of plastic to slot your wiimote and nunchuk into. Nothing more. It doesn't come with a wiimote. It's just the plastic shell to put them into. And it's "only" $19.99. So probably twenty quid, then. You, obviously, don't need it, as you could just use the controllers without the zapper shell. But anyway, that's only one portion of shit.

Instead of making real games like they used to, Nintendo have decided to bundle the Wii Zapper with Link's Crossbow Training. It sound's shit already, doesn't it? I can't even by arsed to write about it. It's basically a selection of *yawn* mini games centred around the world of *yawn* Twilight Princess. You shoot *YAWN* targets and the like and it's all loads of fun. Except it probably isn't after about ten minutes. I've been playing lightgun games since the NES. It's about as revolutionary as the Game Genie.

Fuck off, Nintendo. Make some GAMES again, please. And re-packaging cancelled Gamecube games don't count. Until then, fuck off.

Friday, 7 September 2007

Call of Duty 4 Beta Registration Open!

While lucky American 360 owners have been beta testing the Call of Duty 4 multiplayer demo for a while now, us lot in the UK have had to sit tight and patiently wait.

Rumours were abound this past week that you could only get a registration code by pre-ordering the title at Game. That would be BOLLOCKS and, thankfully, isn't the case! All you need is to be registered (for free) at one of the following sites, and you just follow the instructions from there. I'm registered now and I can't wait to get playing! Call of Duty 3 is one of my all-time favourite Live games. :-)

The sites that offer registration for the Beta are...

Get on it, soldier!

Far Cry 2 Video

Taken during the Leipzig Games Convention, this THIRTEEN MINUTE demo is the most exciting thing ever.

If you don't know already, Far Cry 2 is set in the African savannah, rather than the tropical jungle of the first game. It already looks absolutely beautiful and it's not out till next spring, on PC. It'll be interesting to see how well it's accepted after Crysis, but I think it looks gorgeous in it's own right.

Watch the video and pray for that new graphics card...

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Xbox Live Arcade Wednesday, 05-09-07

Today's additions to the Xbox Live Arcade are Fatal Fury Special and Cyberball 2027.

Fatal Fury is a pretty interesting game for it's time. Originally released in 1991 by SNK for Neo Geo, it was the sister game of Art of Fighting. Later, characters from both of these fighters were brought together for the King of Fighters games. These are still made today and enjoy HUGE success in arcades in Japan. Fatal Fury follows the rise of Terry and the decline of Geese, the bad guy. Terrible names aside, it's an awesome beat-em-up. It's got a fantastic art style, with weather changes and big, detailed sprites and also features the famous two-plane system, which enables fighters to jump between planes, avoiding attacks. It works really well and helps the game stand out next to the obvious Street Fighter comparisons.

The game features the obligatory Xbox Live play and achievements but doesn't feature any graphical enhancements. This isn't a criticism as it looks superb on an HD screen as it is.

If nothing else, Fatal Fury Special demonstrates a piece of gaming history that is still just as playable today. The gameplay and characters aren't clouded by nostalgia like so many other retro classics. It's only 400 Microsoft points (about £3.00) so it's easily a bargain. At least try the trial game. And don't laugh at the names. Terry is solid. And as for Geese.... :-)

The other addition today was Cyberball 2027. It's a futuristic version of American Football and, as such, I don't have a fucking clue as to what's going on. It's got robots and stuff, though. It looks a bit ropey and probably won't make sense unless you understand American things. I wouldn't bother. It's 400 Microsoft points, if you've got money to burn.

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Oblivion GOTY Edition Coming Soon

If you like geeky things like magic and dragons, you should really play Oblivion. It's my favourite Xbox 360 game so far (yes I have played Gears of War and Bioshock) and it's about to get even better.

The updates and expansions have been available for a while now via the Marketplace (and as expansion discs on PC) but I've held off because of rumours of THIS bad boy coming. It's basically a re-release but with all the expansion stuff included.

I'll be buying it again because I love it that much. My game clock says fifty hours, but that doesn't include things I've done and not saved and the times I've started new quests to try out different characters. I estimate I've played it for about sixty-five hours and I still discover new things each time I pick up the pad.

Seriously, this is worth your forty quid. Even if you only get the original release (maybe buy my copy?) please, please play this game.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Game of the Year Edition is released on 14/09/07 on Xbox 360 and PC. A PS3 version is planned, although it doesn't seem to be on Hmmm.

Goatse Found in Bioshock

And if you don't know what Goatse is, you shouldn't be using the Internet.

Marvel vs. Capcom For XBLA and PSN?


Justin Lambros of Marvel has suggested the possibility of a release of classic Capcom fighter Marvel vs. Capcom on console digital download services. While nothing concrete has been discussed, the very fact that Marvel are interested in doing this makes me wet.

For the uninitiated, Marvel vs. Capcom (and it's many variations and sequels) is a 2D Capcom fighter in the Street Fighter style. It features a MASSIVE roster of characters from both the Marvel universe and from various Capcom games. This means it's not just Street Fighter characters (as seen in X-Men vs. Street Fighter) but characters from Darkstalkers, Mega Man, Resident Evil, etc.

Again, nothing solid has been said, but it is presumed that the Xbox Live Arcade and the Playstation Network are pretty solid bets for platforms. Capcom has certainly supported the Xbox Arcade, especially with the Street Fighter series.

Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is my all-time favourite beat-em-up game and is the sole reason I still play my Sega Dreamcast. If Microsoft, Capcom and Marvel pull this off, I'll be pretty happy. I don't even want a HD remix or anything. Just the original game, please. I'm willing to pay up to 1200 Microsoft points for it, but I'd be happy if it was 800. Cheers.

Dutch Importastic!

As i am sure many of you saw recently, much was made over the BBFC deciding Manhunt 2 was just "a bit nasty", and should not be given a release.

Which then inevitably led to most the UK based tramps bum wad tabloids claiming computer games touch you in your sleep.

However, in a bout of pure brilliance, Rockstar have been advised by the Netherlands body of such things that they can released what ever they want, since in Clogland, they do not have a law which enables them to outright ban a game, unless it contains illegal material. Which in itself would be pretty incredible since fucking an animal in Holland in return for Euros seems pretty much a given part of a "lads weekend".

Apparently Rockstar have "no plans" to release an uncut version... since they have spent quite a while putting a smiley face on the soon to be released US version.

This will more than likely change when someone realises that people have the ability to make their own decisions.

(2 posts in 1 day? i must be off work)

I blame Marilyn Manson.

Far Cry, Prince of Persia, Ghost Recon, Raving Rabbids For Free

Hello! Ubisoft are currently offering a selection of their best games on Windows for FREE download via Fileshack. The selection is as follows...
  • Far Cry
  • Rayman : Raving Rabbids
  • Prince of Persia : Sands of Time
  • Ghost Recon
  • Command and Conquer Gold
They're 'ad-enabled' which supposedly means you have to watch ads before you play. I'll update when I've finished downloading Far Cry. Maybe all the weapons will be sponsored by Nokia now?

Get downloading!

Following On...

After all the talk of Puzzle Fighter, and the fact i can feel my mind disappearing more each day that passes, i figured i would maybe look for some puzzle based action to improve my "brain age" or something equally buzzwordy.

The most eagle eyed of you will see the above image and think "ha, what a tool, he's put up the psp boxart". This however is true, i DO own a psp, im that guy.


Despite cacking myself with excitment of seeing Capcom Puzzle World for less than £17 on, and the fact i could picture myself playing Puzzle Fighter Turbo while having a nice relaxing poop, it does appear that the game is having compatibility issues with the latest firmware from Sony.

For those who don't know, Sony require these updates to be performed to play the latest releases, so they in turn can patch up any weaknesses that allow pretty rubbish hacks (that allow 15 year olds make their psp into a shrine for soft-core porn), or some pretty decent homebrew apps.

I figured i would do a little Sherlock, and in turn found an amazingly accurate quote from Capcom saying a fix will be released "soon".

Presumably Mr Capcom said that while rolling around naked in a big pile of yen.