PES2008 - First Demo Impressions

Ok, I've now spent a bit of time on the new Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 demo on XBLA and I've drawn my initial conclusions.

Fixes of things that were shit in PES6:

• Lobbing the goalie has now been demoted from it's previous position of 'Most Difficult Thing'
• Taking a 'quick free kick' isn't completely pointless as in PES6 the screen would still fade down and everyone would have recovered their woeful positions and be ready to immediately steal the ball off you. Play doesn't actually stop now and you can still catch your opponent unaware and lay your GOAL POWER upon them
• More kit options to avoid the PES6 effect where your best option would sometimes be both teams playing in exactly the same kit. Except one of you would have a stripe or different coloured socks
• Nicer graphics and menus and eye candy that isn't very important. Although I should point out that I can't see a huge difference between PES6 and PES2008. Maybe it's because I have only got a standard def telly, what with me not being a tsar or being able to print money
• At least my telly is massive though
  
• Goalies don't seem to be butter fingered twats quite so often

Things that worry/annoy me so far:

• Players still look 'a bit burns victim'
• The frame rate on the demo is AWFUL and there is quite a bit of glitching here and there. I can only assume this won't be the case in the final release but seriously, there was loading time aplenty when I was playing
• Wayne Rooney doesn't have any new weapons and has not been given 'plasmids'
• It doesn't seem to be very different from PES6, most of the character animations and celebration routines seem to be the same. The gameplay is slightly more fluid and fast paced but it's nowhere near the difference between PES6 and PES5
• There's no commentary on the demo which is really annoying because if there's one thing I need it's new phrases to get used to such as "He must be wondering what he has to do to beat this goalkeeper today" (The answer in PES6 was usually 'just wait' as he'll probably trip over his own defender soon)

Now it may seem like I'm a little underwhelmed. That's because I am. But that is also because the way I've played this demo is not how I play and love PES.

The thing that makes me love PES is getting all (both) of your mates over and playing for 5 hours solid because neither of you can let the game you just lost be the last. It's needing one last match. It's saving replays of goals scored from the halfway line after rebounding in off the keepers arse.

It's one of the most social games ever, and I know I'll be buying it. I know it probably isn't going to be a huge revelation or even a massive leap from the last version but I'll be happy just getting a slightly new twist on an old favourite. New players, new teams (Derby?) and a facelift is pretty much all I needed from PES2008, as long as they don't mess with the formula then I'll be happy.

I may not bang on about it the way I did over PES6, but I'll almost certainly play it as much.

Which is all that matters right?

IN OTHER NEWS: Matt has put up all our gamer cards on the right there. My gamerscore is pitiful and I feel the need to point out that I've only just renewed my Xbox Gold Membership and that I've only just bought a 360. I also need to change that stupid pirate twat for my picture.

No Masterchief LOLcats

When the Halo 3 Legendary Edition was announced, with the Masterchief helmet included, I dreamt of wearing it. How cool would that be? But we then heard that it was too small for that, but perhaps child-sized. I then imagined a future where LOLcats would be Halo-themed. Where YouTube would be filled with videos of freaky Halo children and Masterchief cats.

But it's not to be.

IGN has reported that, although the helmet is a PERFECT size for felines, it's not hollow, rendering it's clothing possibilities impossible.

Bugger. Still, I guess the game will be alright.

Rainy Woods

Now this is a game I am excited about!
I've always been a single player gamer, mainly because I like to get involved heavily with the story based element of the game. I think the last time a game got me so involved was Psychonauts or Bioshock.
There's nothing I enjoy more than getting to the point where you don't want to go to bed for fear that you may be missing out on what happens next, even if you know nothing will have changed between going bed and next picking up the game.

It's being heralded as a mix of Twin Peaks and Silent Hill which to me is a dream come true as the first two silent hill games are two of my favourite games ever, possibly due to the fact that adventure games are my favourite genre and survival horror games seem to borrow elements from these quite heavily.

The main thing that attracts me to this game is that it appears to be such an original story (you watch, I'll be eating my hat when it transpires that it's based on a guy passing through a town on his way somewhere else and he gets mystically trapped there). What more could you want? It has midgets, religious sacrifice and a guy in a wheel chair wearing a gas mask!
If you cast your minds back to the aborted genius that was Fahrenheit you'd understand, it showed not only a very original story but also an original way of playing the game (whatever choice you made during the game would affect how the next part played out, a bit like a more glamorous dragon's lair). The only thing that let it down was the disaster that was the last quarter of the game where it became more like the 4th part in the Matrix trilogy.

Anyway as far as I know, no release date has been set yet but I'm a patient person (I'm still waiting for Monkey Island 5!) and I'm sure Assassins Creed will tide me over until then.

*EDIT* I've changed my mind. This actually is Twin peaks!

Is This The Top10 2D Shooters Of All Time?

Screwattack

I ask because I STRONGLY DISAGREE. 2D shoot-em-ups are my all-time favourite type of game. I have spent far too much money and far too much time playing them. Screwattack's top10s are always great to watch online. They're fun, nostalgic, and just damn good entertainment. But this one is SO wrong that I just had to pick up on it and see if I'm the only one that feels this way! This is their's:



*****SPOILERS***** Watch the link if you want them slowly revealed to you.









01- UN Squadron
02- Ikaruga
03- Gradius
04- Super R-Type
05- Galaga
06- Axelay
07- Asteroids
08- 1943
09- Raptor
10- Xevious

Now THIS is mine:

01- R-Type Final
02- Axelay
03- Xenon II- Megablast
04- Parodius
05- Space Invaders
06- Pop N'Twinbee
07- Defender
08- Zero Wing
09- Raptor
10- Ikaruga


C'mon, they didn't even have Space Invaders in there, the daddy! OR Xenon II! But R-Type is clearly the best shooter of all time. It's just absolutely perfect in every way. I had UN Squadron, and it was damn good, but the best ever? Nah. Thoughts?

(by the way, I left out 2D platform shooters as they appeared to as well, otherwise Zombies Ate My Neighbours would be No.1)

Wii Woes

I sometimes feel like I write too many negative things about Nintendo these days... Since I got my first NES console I've LOVED Nintendo and their games. Duck Hunt, Mario Bros, Zelda, Punch Out, Mega Man and loads of other much-loved NES games introduced me to console gaming at a time when I was getting sick of waiting a half hour for my Commodore VIC-20 to load my tapes. The Super Nintendo is my favourite ever games console. I bought the N64 and Gamecube within a week of their release. I fucking IMPORTED a DS from America because I couldn't wait for the PAL release. I queued for THIRTEEN hours to get a Wii at midnight on release. See? I like Nintendo!

Certainly, the Wii has a fantastic line-up of releases before the end of the year. Metroid Prime 3, Super Mario Galaxy, Guitar Hero 3, LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga (with fucking lightsabre action), NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Manhunt 2 and a few more all look great. Not to mention the new Zelda release on the DS. Nintendo seem to have all their important IPs covered for the holiday season.

But what about after that? Nobody seems to be questioning what happens when we've all got Mario Galaxy and finished Metroid Prime 3. What should we be looking forward to then? There's Mario Kart Wii, I suppose. And Super Smash Bros. But neither of these games grab me like they should. Neither of them support the innovative Wii remote in a way that will re-invent them and revolutionise the series. In fact, it seems to me that these games will do the opposite and just make people wish they had a normal controller and had more than four buttons to use on them. That's certainly the way I felt while playing Twilight Princess... From all the hype and pre-release images and videos, I only see Mario Kart Wii and Super Smash Bros Brawl as souped-up Gamecube games. They may have online-play, but Nintendo's online service is famously flaky.

Of course, the Xbox will have a similar problem after the launch of Halo 3. It's all people have wanted since launch and I do worry what will happen when there's not that on the horizon. But Microsoft have such strong third party support, as do Sony, and seem to have a never-ending supply of new releases. Something that the Wii certainly misses out on.

But until then, it's going to be a fucking good end to the year. :-D

What's With All The Quiz Shit?

Argh!

Who the fuck is buying all the quiz games? Not content with raping the DVD market with awful DVD Quizzes, developers are now setting their evil eyes on the videogames market and it's fucking embarrassing.

We've already had Buzz! and it's EIGHT sequels. EIGHT. Now we've got Scene-It and, worst of all, Cheggers Party Quiz for the Playstation 2, PC and Nintendo Wii (pictured). Here's the press release...

"Guaranteed to have something for everyone - much like its devilishly dishy host - Cheggers’ Party Quiz is jam-packed with thousands of entertainment questions, all brought into your front room by the eternally ebullient host, Keith Chegwin.

Challenging quiz and party game fans to Party with Cheggers this Christmas, Cheggers’ Party Quiz is the most wonderfully wacky party quiz to hit consoles yet."

Oh, fuck off.

Dog Eats Wii Remote

From Gamepro.com, comes this amazing story of a hungry dog and a broken Wii remote...

A family took their Dog to the vet worried after finding it coughing up blood. After X-Rays, a rectangular-shaped mass was discovered inside the dog. It was a remote, but not just any remote! I wonder if the dog kept turning on the console by mistake?

"The Vet started massaging the dogs belly and it just came flying out of the dog," said owner Marie Becknell. "I knew what it was right away by the color and shape of it -- it was my son's video game remote. The dog had swallowed the boy's Nintendo Wii controller."

So, a happy ending. Bizarre, but happy.

Unreal Tournament 3 / 2007 Whatever You Want To Call It

I've always loved Unreal, it's released on PC and PS3 in November and THANKFULLY it's not out on the XBOX 360 until sometime in 2008. What other console would you be glad of a delayed release date of one of your favourite games?

Here's my reasoning...

1. Halo 3 (see you in town Tuesday night)
2. Bioshock (waiting for a secondhand one on the cheap)
3. Gears of War (yep, still playing alongside a bunch of pricks over Live)
4. skate. (one of the best demos on Marketplace will not be a let down)
5. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (I'm too scared to even begin this monster)

plus Guitar Hero II, SWOS (whenever the shitty thing gets released), Sonic 2, currently finishing off Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter, still dicking about on Rainbow Six Vegas and never finished off Lost Planet.

so...I'm glad it's delayed I've got a few more months to really get into these games without dropping them all for Unreal.

I haven't mentioned GTA4 because i don't like GTA. Yep, that's right. I fucking hate it.

Sony Make (Dual) Shock Announcement! *Updated*

Or not of course as we all (well, UKR mainly) predicted it. Sony have finally given what many current PS3 owners may see as a big 'F**K YOU!' to the early adopters and informed everyone that they were very wrong when they said that 'rumble is a last-generation feature'.

"No, I can't see any room to stick a Rampant Rabbit in it either"

In fact, Me and Matt were playing the new and entirely excellent Sega Rally demo the other day on xbox and were talking about the track deformation and the feedback as you tear up the track on the third lap, bumping all over the shop. How could you play this game without that? Likewise, any FPS where you get enemies creeping up behind you and shooting you would be confusing/frustrating as hell.

Now, an open letter, Steve Jobs style...

Mainly of course directed at our very own Bronson, but please feel free to join in the comments section and let us know what you think.

Q: How do you feel about the recent PS3 Dual Shock 3 being announced? Are you glad they finally realised it was shit without rumble? Angry cos you'll have to buy a new controller? Do you find you've not needed rumble whilst playing your PS3?

And in the 'other 'last generation' features I miss - Those memory cards on the Dreamcast that had the little screen on them! How cool were they?

*UPDATE*

Interestingly, it seems that many current release will have rumble support added through downloadable patches. The full list can be seen over at IGN and it's good to see titles like Motorstorm and Resistance: Fall of Man featured on the list. This is a GOOD move from Sony. Expecting your customers to buy a new controller so soon into your consoles life is a still a BAD move, however. Tut tut...

And where's Sega Rally? :-p

Gran Turismo 5 Prologue Pricing Favours PSN

A pricing guide for Polyphony's forthcoming Gran Turismo 5 Prologue was shown in the press pack at this years Tokyo Games Show. Interestingly, fans can download the title from the PS3's PSN service at a reduced rate, compared to the Blu-Ray version. GT5 Prologue is a taster of the much anticipated Gran Turismo 5, and should have racing fans trembling with excitement.

It's certainly positive that companies like Polyphony Digital are supporting Digital Downloads by offering reduced pricing structures. Hopefully, more publishers will follow this example as game downloads become more and more common. With Tomb Raider Anniversary coming exclusively via the Xbox Live Marketplace later in the year, in episodes, the future DOES look bright for online game services. Good work, Polyphony!

Greatest Game Franchise Ever™: Latest Trailer

SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!

This just gets better. Not only have they got a cyborg ninja, not only have they got gratuitous next-gen cleavage shots, not only has it got hot mech on mech action, and not only has it got fart gags.... IT'S GOT A HAIRLESS MONKEY!!!!!!!!

If you're new to Metal Gear or didn't play MGS2 then a lot of the dialogue won't make sense, just sit back and enjoy the pretty pictures and silly action, but if you did... HOLY SHIT!!!! IT's ____'S BABY!

White Hair, Trenchcoats, And Techno-Metal Are Cool- Fact

Clicky

Devil May Cry 4 on the PS3 and Xbox 360 looks absolutely amazing, I mean god-damn awesome. If this game was a woman, I would gut-punch a hole in the middle of the woman and then fuck the hole. A new hole just for me. What's that red stuff coming out of her?....